I like this photo from flickr...
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
Saturday, 7 April 2007
mind-viruses; share them here.
let's all get down and share tics.
these are just the things that I caught off other people. thoughts that then invaded my head. and now I am going to share them, and infect everyone here. you are welcome to respond in kind. I need some new ones. also, after mentioning the virus, I'll try to mention who I caught it off, and how long it's bugged me.
'Who's more talented- Lennon or McCartney?' this is a very dull mind-virus that I caught off Nicholson Baker in his book The Mezzanine. The answer's totally obvious, but the thought still bugs me. (that thought has been active for about 20 years.)
'Imagine a pile of all the stuff you've ever eaten off yourself, piled up on a plate. Imagine having to eat that. and then, imagine another plate with a pile of all the stuff you've ever eaten off other people.'
Thanks for that, Jon. I have had that thought at least twice a week for 15 years, and those piles just keep growing.
'I can't eat in front of people.'
This is my friend Jade speaking. I'm thinking, 'what a strange phobia.' a week later, I couldn't either. Cheers Jade! it's been about 15 years.
'I can't watch comedy with other people.'
This is my friend D speaking. again, I'm thinking, 'that's a bit odd.'
he sez, 'It's because, when something funny comes up, you look at the other person in the room, catch their eye, kind of like, to validate that it's funny. but I hate that, I feel really self-conscious about it.'
A week later, I can't watch comedy with another person in the room. That phobia has been active around 6 years. cheers D.
The number 23 doesn't bother me. It's just too... usual. I wanna be sent mad by really off-the-wall stuff. like 'nothing has ever happened- it's all just a dream that God is having.'
This is kinda why I like Tony Parsons (not that Tony Parson's) of the neo-advaita movement. he's like the Sex Pistols of spiritual philosophy- he'll come on stage and say something mad like 'there is no Ramana Maharshi (a spiritual guru) just as there is no hitler,' or, (to his audience) 'there is nobody here. there are no individuals at all.' gives you something to chew on, y'know.
It occurs to me I haven't mentioned any sexual tics. I can't think of any off-hand. but I read a funny one in a comic strip (available in 'paper tiger, the best of') 'Is Ian Krankie straight, gay, or a paedophile?' and then, 'I wonder if they...' cut to picture of them screwing-
Ian Krankie- 'say it!'
Jimmy Krankie- 'fan- dabi- DOZI!'
The writer responsible for that bit of genius is called Jim Burke, ex of the band 'Collapsed Lung.'
thoughts are such strange things. where do they come from, where do they go, where did you come from cotton-eye joe?!
these are just the things that I caught off other people. thoughts that then invaded my head. and now I am going to share them, and infect everyone here. you are welcome to respond in kind. I need some new ones. also, after mentioning the virus, I'll try to mention who I caught it off, and how long it's bugged me.
'Who's more talented- Lennon or McCartney?' this is a very dull mind-virus that I caught off Nicholson Baker in his book The Mezzanine. The answer's totally obvious, but the thought still bugs me. (that thought has been active for about 20 years.)
'Imagine a pile of all the stuff you've ever eaten off yourself, piled up on a plate. Imagine having to eat that. and then, imagine another plate with a pile of all the stuff you've ever eaten off other people.'
Thanks for that, Jon. I have had that thought at least twice a week for 15 years, and those piles just keep growing.
'I can't eat in front of people.'
This is my friend Jade speaking. I'm thinking, 'what a strange phobia.' a week later, I couldn't either. Cheers Jade! it's been about 15 years.
'I can't watch comedy with other people.'
This is my friend D speaking. again, I'm thinking, 'that's a bit odd.'
he sez, 'It's because, when something funny comes up, you look at the other person in the room, catch their eye, kind of like, to validate that it's funny. but I hate that, I feel really self-conscious about it.'
A week later, I can't watch comedy with another person in the room. That phobia has been active around 6 years. cheers D.
The number 23 doesn't bother me. It's just too... usual. I wanna be sent mad by really off-the-wall stuff. like 'nothing has ever happened- it's all just a dream that God is having.'
This is kinda why I like Tony Parsons (not that Tony Parson's) of the neo-advaita movement. he's like the Sex Pistols of spiritual philosophy- he'll come on stage and say something mad like 'there is no Ramana Maharshi (a spiritual guru) just as there is no hitler,' or, (to his audience) 'there is nobody here. there are no individuals at all.' gives you something to chew on, y'know.
It occurs to me I haven't mentioned any sexual tics. I can't think of any off-hand. but I read a funny one in a comic strip (available in 'paper tiger, the best of') 'Is Ian Krankie straight, gay, or a paedophile?' and then, 'I wonder if they...' cut to picture of them screwing-
Ian Krankie- 'say it!'
Jimmy Krankie- 'fan- dabi- DOZI!'
The writer responsible for that bit of genius is called Jim Burke, ex of the band 'Collapsed Lung.'
thoughts are such strange things. where do they come from, where do they go, where did you come from cotton-eye joe?!
the dole, bees and dodgy trannies
On Saturday I was waitin for my mate in town. He’s a cross-dresser, and I realised, that for the first time in my life, I didn’t know if the person I was waiting for was gonna show up looking like a man or a woman… strange business. Anyway, he come as a man, which was probably for the best, but for some reason, he’s tryin to lure me into the seedy side of the Manchester gay scene “go to the Wellington on a Wednesday evening at midnight; place is full of dodgy trannies…”
“yeah mate, and why on earth would I wanna experience that?! I got all the dodgy trannies I need wi’ you, D******!”
and I just been in the DSS again, new claim, an’ they won’t let me put ‘beekeeper’ as one of my listed desirable occupations… the swines!
(what also strikes me as interesting to mention about the CD- I took notes from our conversation of anything that sounded interesting, and it just reads like a list of madness- 'pink curtains. the vagina fairy. like a person dressed up as a cat, but with really massive eyes.' and so on...)
“yeah mate, and why on earth would I wanna experience that?! I got all the dodgy trannies I need wi’ you, D******!”
and I just been in the DSS again, new claim, an’ they won’t let me put ‘beekeeper’ as one of my listed desirable occupations… the swines!
(what also strikes me as interesting to mention about the CD- I took notes from our conversation of anything that sounded interesting, and it just reads like a list of madness- 'pink curtains. the vagina fairy. like a person dressed up as a cat, but with really massive eyes.' and so on...)
Blaine's new show?
there is a bus service in manchester that is called 'magic bus'... most of their fleet are really old and falling apart... I fail to see what what's so 'magic' about sitting on a bus that's shaking itself to bits... I don't remember seein that on 'the Paul Daniels Show'... I don't recall David Copperfield ever tryin that one...
David Blaine might tho... 'for my next stunt, I am gonna sit on a crappy old bus in Manchester, that's travelling up to forty miles an hour... and somebody has loosened all the screws just a little bit... and, I won't be chained up, but I will be stuck to the seat with a particularly nasty lump of chewing gum... my object will be to get up and ring the bell before I miss my stop... I'm calling it 'bus or busted.'
producer- 'hey Dave man, that's just awesome! you are literally just like, so... amazing! I reckon we'll put this one out live on primetime...'
David Blaine might tho... 'for my next stunt, I am gonna sit on a crappy old bus in Manchester, that's travelling up to forty miles an hour... and somebody has loosened all the screws just a little bit... and, I won't be chained up, but I will be stuck to the seat with a particularly nasty lump of chewing gum... my object will be to get up and ring the bell before I miss my stop... I'm calling it 'bus or busted.'
producer- 'hey Dave man, that's just awesome! you are literally just like, so... amazing! I reckon we'll put this one out live on primetime...'
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